


Too Far

by MissReylo



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 02:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14760527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissReylo/pseuds/MissReylo
Summary: He was different.At first you hadn’t noticed. When you looked back now the signs were clear, but then you were distracted. Too much on your mind. You hadn’t seen the looks. How he got more reckless. How he didn’t smile any more.





	Too Far

He was different.  
At first you hadn’t noticed. When you looked back now the signs were clear, but then you were distracted. Too much on your mind. You hadn’t seen the looks. How he got more reckless. How he didn’t smile any more.  
When he started yelling, you noticed. Off course you did. It frightened you. It was just a little thing that didn’t matter and suddenly everything came out, he was screaming and yelling about everything that had gone wrong.  
You had been frozen. You had no idea what to do. You just let him yell. Later when it was over you couldn’t stop your hands from shaking. It was horrible.  
At night you slept in your room, wondering what Donna was doing. She had left. Not out of free will. With no memory of the Doctor or you, she was at home now. She had been amazing. Travelling with her and the Doctor had always been so special. You had felt so lucky, you had been chosen to travel through time and space.  
When Donna left, she left a gaping hole behind her. Donna had always been the glue that stuck you and the Doctor together. Whenever the two of you had an argument, she fixed it. She always came up with new destinations. Donna was everything.  
Now she was gone the Doctor was left, broken, hopeless, depressed and angry. And you didn’t say anything. You missed the breakfasts filled with laughter; the days filled with adventures; the nights spend curled up on the couch, watching a stupid film.  
You tried to talk to him. He was fixing the TARDIS and you sat there.  
“You know I miss her too, right?” you asked.  
He didn’t respond.  
“You have to stop this, Doctor. Please.”   
“There’s nothing wrong with me, Y/N.”  
And suddenly things changed. He woke you up really early and almost pulled you out of bed, chattering about this planet you totally had to see. You pushed him out of the room to dress and you grinned stupidly at yourself in the mirror. Living with the false delusion that you had your Doctor back.  
The day was amazing. You enjoyed it, walking through the streets, arm in arm with a grinning Doctor. Talking loudly, asking questions. You fell asleep in his arms in the bed of the hotel room that you two had to share.  
You woke up in the middle of the night from shifting on the bed. You were still wearing your clothes. The Doctor was sitting upright, staring at the wall. You groaned, grabbing his hand.  
“Sleep,” you murmured, closing your eyes again.  
“Sit up, Y/N, I have to do something,” he said and there was something sharp in his tone that made you obey him. You sat up, rubbing your eyes, squinting in the dark. He grabbed you and crushed his lips against yours. It was so unexpected that you gasped, pushing him away.  
“Kiss me, Y/N,” he said, grabbing you again and kissing you even harder, if that was even possible. You were helpless in his arms, nothing more than a rag doll. Everything in you screamed to push him away, to slap him. But your lips responded against him and you fought for control.   
________________________________________  
The next days were a storm of touching. Kissing and… more. It felt so right at the time and honestly it was better than those days of the Doctor either ignoring or yelling at you.   
You should have seen that his anger, his grief, wasn’t gone yet. Sometimes you caught a little glimpse of it in his eyes when he pulled away from one of your kisses. That look.... alien. But you had ignored it. You so badly wanted the old Doctor back.  
One morning you made him coffee. In your nightgown, your hair a mess, you walked over to him with a cup of steaming coffee. He sat behind the table, his head in his hands. Softly you put the cup down next to him and sat down yourself.  
“Why did I ever follow the rules, Y/N?” he asked finally.  
You frowned. “What rules?”  
“The laws of time. I follow them. But why? I’m the last of the Time Lords. I don’t have to follow them. I could go back in time and prevent Donna from ever leaving. Or Rose. Martha.”  
You swallowed thickly. “You can’t.”  
He looked up, a wild look in his eyes. “And why not, Y/N? You don’t get to decide that! You’re just a silly human. You don’t see what I see. I see much greater things... I could do whatever I want. I could make the universe so much better.”  
You stood up, trying to hide your pain from those words. A silly human. You had thought those words so many times, but to hear it from the Doctor.  
“I’m going to my room,” you said.  
“I didn’t mean that,” he murmured.  
You sighed. “Sure.”  
________________________________________  
He was going too far. The whole time you had stood next to him without saying anything. But now you had to interfere. This wasn’t the Doctor any more.  
“Yes, because there are laws. There are Laws of Time. Once upon a time there were people in charge of those laws, but they died. They all died. Do you know who that leaves? Me! It's taken me all these years to realise the Laws of Time are mine, and they will obey me!”  
You shook your head. “Stop! Doctor, stop this! This is not you.”  
He turned around. “Not me? Like you even know me!”  
Adelaide was standing there, she looked at you. Telling you to do something. But you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know this man. He had become a stranger to you. What could you say to reason with him.  
“You’re right,” you yelled back, “I don’t know you. You’re not the Doctor any more. You’re a God. You’re all alone, thinking that you can change the universe. Those laws... you need to follow them for a reason!”  
He breathed shakily. “Humans, like always so small minded. I’m doing good things.”  
“No, you’re not,” you said, “when we first met you were a good person. You did good things then. But you’ve changed. I hate you, and I wish we never met.”  
He said nothing.   
Then: “I don’t care what you say, Y/N, I’m doing this.”  
You nodded. “Fine. Do it then. You’ll see what happens.”  
________________________________________  
Inside the TARDIS, after saving Adelaide, Mia, Yuri and Gadget, you still tried to interfere. Everything inside of you told you this wasn’t going to end well. You yelled at him, tried to pull him away from the console. You tried to slap him but nothing worked. He materialized the TARDIS on Earth and pushed you away.  
“You’re making a mistake!” you yelled.  
“It’s all right, Y/N,” Adelaide said, “you can’t do anything.”  
“That’s not the Doctor,” you said, “that’s a different man.”  
She stroked your cheek and then followed the Doctor with the other people. You stayed behind in the TARDIS. Curled up against the console. The TARDIS hummed.  
“What do I do now, sweetie?” you asked the TARDIS.  
She responded with some beeps.   
“Sorry, I don’t speak that language,” you said, closing your eyes.  
It took some time but then the TARDIS door opened and the Doctor stumbled in. The look on his face... hopeless.  
“She killed herself,” he muttered before collapsing on the floor, “Adelaide killed herself.”  
You resisted the urge to throw up. That kind woman who had just touched your cheek, told you it was all right? She had died... killed herself.  
“This is your fault,” you hissed.  
He nodded. “I know.”  
“Why did you do this? Why? If Donna had been here you wouldn’t have,” you whispered, “she would have been enough. I’m just a stand in. I did everything for you, but it still wasn’t enough, right?”  
“No, it isn’t,” the Doctor admitted.  
“Can I go home?” you asked softly.  
He nodded and stood up. He pressed some buttons and the lovely sound of the TARDIS made you choke back a sob. You stood up and when you landed you walked over to the door and opened it. There was home.  
“Thank you,” you said, “well, this is goodbye.”  
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice broken. You turned around and hugged him, burying your face in the coat that smelled so wonderfully like him. You bit your lip, fighting the tears.  
“I’m sorry I wasn’t enough,” you said, your voice so small. You stepped out of the TARDIS and without looking back you walked away. The Doctor stared at you and then closed to the door, falling to the floor again.  
He had gone too far.


End file.
